Dying with agony

Dying with agony July 12, 2007

My larynx cancer was gone after the radiotherapy. However, after 2 weeks I felt terrible pain on the right side of my throat, jaw (teeth), and skull. The right side of my throat suddenly swelled. Then I took CT (CAT scan) of my throat. Three doctor assembled in front of the CT pictures and they explained - There is a new huge tumor that appeared in my throat on the right lower side. This cancer has grown so fast. It is quite vigorous and radical. The tumor is surrounding a carotid artery so it cannot be removed. You may live for one month. You may die with agony and suffocation. I was listening all of them with a terrible image. 'I have no choice in the way I die.' I wrote e-mails to my wife, my daughter and friends to say good-bye. I have been thinking of ways to die in peace. I still can't figure out the way. I just want say good-bye to my friends before I become dilapidated, weakened, and frail. I will try to visit many of my friends.

In the morning in front of my house