I'm a Spear Hunter

Human Beings Cannot Live on Bread Alone                      

Even though most people had possessed ambition when they were young, they would have been losing it in the daily their life. Their ordinary work would have been grounding their passion routinely. However, people think it became an adult or realistic. If someone still held his dream after he went to world, people would call him a child. I would not care if people called me immature. I wish I held my desire in my life.

Most people have to work for their daily lives whether they like their jobs or not. They were accepted as being beyond doubt. However, I wonder beside their dreamed lives, their real lives are more satisfied. I believe the most people are less satisfied with their lives if they could not find favorite jobs that were suitable to their capability, their lives would be frustrated.

I still have been holding my dream. Nevertheless, I could not live with my desire. Therefore, I have been traveling in the wild nature for spear fishing instead of living in wild nature like a bushman. “To live there or not to do that is eternal question.” This illusion makes me blissful. I always yearn to live in the wild nature.

Survival Instinct

Have you ever been to a tiny isolated south-pacific island that not to many have heard of, and seen hundreds of shooting stars at one glance? Have you ever set your bare feet onto the virgin powder sand and floated over the emerald green reef? Have you ever seen countless schools of sharks and gotten close enough to touch them? When I had enough time for a vacation, I have always visited the southern islands for spear fishing. I have traveled to many islands, Melanesia: Tahiti; Papeete, Fiji; Langiloa, Northern Marianas: Maug, Asuncion, Agrihan, Pagan, Guguan, Sarigan, Anatahan, Saipan, Tenian, Rota, Ponape, Guam, Palau, Bali, Philippines; Seb, Mactuan, New Caledonia; Maldives: Mauritius: Seychelles: Cancun; Cozumel; Grand Cayman; Great Barrier Reef: Lizard island; Newsy land etc. However, the most fascinating island to me was Kayangel. It is located in one of Caroline Islands near Palau. Caroline Islands are located close to the equator among Micronesian islands. First, we would fly to the island of Palau. And from Palau we would charter a seventy-foot cruiser along with a guide to fly for about half a day to Kayangel. The oval shaped island's approximate radius is two miles. About 50 people live on this island, and it is under the governmental control of the U.S.A. There is no electricity; they do not have any modern conveniences. Therefore, this island does not have any pollution. Kayangel is my favorite place because this island keeps the purity of nature. I have always relished my desire for nature.

          The people of Kayangel use natural resources to sustain. The islanders get daily food from local agriculture and fishing. They fish from the rocks near the shore using spears, and they harvest Taro potatoes, Tapiocas, Bananas, and Papayas from the bushes in the woods near the shore. They do not use any chemical fertilizers. They only use manure because they do not need to mass-produce any products. Therefore, the fields are fertile. Having no pollution preserves the rich natural environment. Consequently, they can get food easily and purely from nature. Perhaps they desire to have a more convenient life, but they do not want to change the old ways too much. Therefore, the air is clean, the sea is clear, and everything is pure. Kayangel has managed to keep its precious nature. Here, I ate Taro potatoes, tapiocas, papayas, fresh fish, mud crabs, giant shells, and wild pigeons. They were all one hundred percent organic produces and needless to say, delicious. I never got tired of eating them and these foods made me happy.

          Secondly, the people here are gentle and naturally innocent. The chief of tribe who leads the rest of the tribe members is like a father. They are like one big family. During my stay there, I have never seen any quarrels among them. They always shared when someone got something. The mothers never showed her family much affection but I could see and feel her constant affection towards her them. The fathers were mostly reticent but one could see his immovable love for the family from the gentle eyes in the tanned wrinkly faces. The children seemed a bit mischievous but they are born to live in the open and wild; their wide-open black eyes were really a form of wild beauty. They looked calm yet carefree. They all had a content state of mind. They reminded me of the saying, 'Happy are those who know they are spiritually wealthy'.

          Thirdly, Kayangel is serene and its nature is pure. I always have a chance to replenish myself there.

In 1985, I went there for the first time. I was lying on the deck of a boat at night to go to sleep. I looked up at the innumerable stars in the heavens. From the time I lay down till the moment I fell asleep, I could count over a hundred shooting stars across the sky. The Southern Cross was twinkling among the stars. I was breathing, smelling, and listening to the sea. Other things in my head were completely irrelevant. At night under stars in the sky of Kayangel, when I had been in a deep meditation, my soul was bare and naked.

          Moreover, Kayangel abounds with nature. Therefore, Kayangel has the most attractive spear-fishing drop-off point. One day in the morning, I walked on to the beach for spear-fishing. The powder snow-sand was called the virgin sand since nobody else had ever walked across it. Afterwards, when I dove into the ocean to go spear fishing with SCUBA; I saw innumerable sharks clustered in one area to create a wall-like surface. At first glance, it seemed like a formation of warplanes hovering over the sky and the horizon. With the perfect visibility of the sea, it was not very hard to figure out that these hazy silhouettes were sharks of all sizes. To my surprise, I really enjoyed diving with them without any fear. For that one moment, I was just one of the earth's many species among the creatures under the sea. I was whole and complete, without any distractions or stress from the human world, as a part of the ancient nature.

          On the other hand, SCUBA diving is not so difficult but it always has the risk factor because SCUBA divers breathe natural air which contains nitrogen gas. Nitrogen, as tiny molecules, can dissolve easily into the diver's bloodstream. If the diver exits too quickly from underwater to the surface, nitrogen gas molecules expand and obstruct the diver's blood vessels. Therefore, the divers need to stay under certain depths for certain minutes for decompressions that release nitrogen gas from their blood. As a rule, SCUBA divers may dive up to maximum depth of 100ft. They dive for 30 minutes, then decompress for about 10 minutes maintaining the approximate depth of 18ft. When I dive, I usually bring a spear gun with me. I do not spearfish for sport. I put my life on the line when I battle with a fish in the sea. As the depth increase, the spear's power decreases because the spear's power and strength depends on the rubber string that is the spear-gun of the rubber sling. From under 130ft, the spear cannot give fish a fatal damage. Therefore, the fish is sometimes too strong for spear-fishing. If a spear fisherman cannot shoot a fish at the right point with enough impact, the fish would break the tip of the spear or the rope and swim away. This situation is the most embarrassing for any spear fisherman. Sometimes the spears get caught deep into the body of the fish and it pulls the diver down into deeper water in an instant. When this happens, I would not have enough air to decompress. I always took the same kind of risk that the ancient people may have taken to sustain their families; by hunting with weak equipments. I bet my life on spear fishing because I want to be just as close to the ancient ways.

          One day, I aimed at an enormous fish in the 130ft depths among the sharks in a strong current. I estimated the amount of air to be consumed for which I would need to defeat the target. I zeroed in on exactly where his killing point was. At the time, my skin had been melting into the blue sea; I was becoming one with the spear and with a pounding heart. In a flash, I pictured the sharks pouncing at my quarry and me. Simultaneously I descended on the target. A quarry weighing about 140 lb - a Potato Cod - underwater is extremely strong and fast. At that moment, I cast a glance at the gauges which indicated 100 ft depths and 100 x 14 liter air that were not enough to battle this size of a quarry. When I was being pulled into the deep water by the quarry, the water pressure and everything around me felt different. I had confirmed the gauges again, the depth was 240ft, I started to breath slowly, and intermittently; this was completely against the SCUBA diving rules and regulations. Many sharks with pectoral fins were posing down and gathering around us to prepare to attack. Thoughts of death kept flashing in my head like a strobe light. I momentarily dimly thought, 'if I let myself, I could die right here.' I felt nothing. There would be no pain, or worries. In this flash, my survival instinct triggered. My libido jumped up out of bed and explosively full-charged power into my body. Swiftly I pulled up the quarry with the spear's line, held him between my legs, and stabbed his medulla to put him to death with a knife in one second. He instantaneously quivered, and finally opened his mouth widely. The spreading cloud of blood was making our surrounding water purple green. I quickly swam upward to get out of turbid surroundings and into a good visibility point, and simultaneously looked at the gauges and the sharks approaching us. I quickly calculated the amount of air I had left and the distance I needed to swim to get back to the surface. The sharks were surrounding us to aim, bump, or bite... like an attack seen in Western movies when Indians were attacking a wagon. I was holding the quarry as close to my body as possible, and sending the sharks away by turning my body, bumping the sharks with the body of the spear gun and my hand. I was virtually letting the sharks know 'This quarry is mine not yours. I'm a brutal predator, and I'm crueler than you are.' I was trying to send the sharks away, and swim gradually upward but the deep-sea pressure was pulling me down because the quarry was too heavy to bring up. The pressure had reduced my buoyancy and my fin's power. I pumped the air into my BC jacket to increase my buoyancy. I had to kick hard just to swim slowly back up. This made my heart beat faster. I had to calm down in order to economize my air consumption and to protect myself from the sharks lest they mistook my feeling as fear. This was when I realized that I did not have enough air to decompress. It meant that I might get thrombosis. I came to think which was better for me, as the saying goes, 'to be, or not to be'. Anyhow, my adrenaline was automatically manipulating my body to keep swimming upward even without my decision to do so. I returned but I was covered all over with wounds. Consequently, because of this incident, I got the 'bends' which caused my arm and foot muscle power to decrease. I had a herniated disk, a prostate problem, and a bleeding liver etc. I have been aware of these dangers, but I kept diving. Perhaps we subconsciously rely on our survival instincts when we put ourselves in danger. However, I intentionally put myself in critical situations when I got tired of ordinary cultural life; I felt depressed by stress from work or I felt lost without a purpose in life. I needed something to encourage myself intensely. I desired to feel and confirm my cellular desire: libido and will to live.

          Since I live amongst the advanced civilization, I cannot avoid the vicious cycle of economical, mental, and physical pollution. Because I cannot live in this society with only hunting or harvesting in this day and age, even though this life style makes me weak as a soul, I cannot live without economy that is business or a job. Therefore, I chose instead to adventure to not well known tiny isolated Islands. I would call Kayangel my favorite place because visiting this island makes me feel the appreciation of nature and life. In spear fishing, I can feel, confirm, and encourage my soul purely. I can restore myself.  When I see the ocean, I look forward to returning to that profound bliss. Kayangel is the only island that has made my soul feels supreme.